Arrived in small town in Texas with the technician in tow; we were invited to participate in a technical demonstration of Building and Materials.
After we completed the last seminar, the technician and I decided we deserved a cold beer. We went back to the hotel and ask where the bar was. Well, it was difficult to describe, but the look on the clerk’s face was without a doubt, a blank.
Now, the technician I work with is from California where the bars are open until 2 a.m. every day, every week, every year. In some counties in Texas, you must be a member of a private drinking establishment before you can be served. In this hotel, the bar was C L O S E D. The clerk suggested we go to the dining area, where we were informed they did not serve alcoholic beverages. C L O S E D.
The waitress at the restaurant tells us about the “kind of rowdy bar” just across the highway where we could have a drink.
We crossed the highway and after one look at the size of the Texas trucks parked outside, you can bet I had no intention of going in. My friend is more willing to chance the visit to this establishment so he goes in with me in tow. We find an out of the way tall table, two chairs and when the waitress goes by, he asks for a beer and a wine.
She looks at us with a blank look and then asked for “the card”. My friend by no means is savvy about the ways of Texas so he gives her a look that defies stupidity; she continues asking for “the card”; he still cannot understand what she is saying so he asks: “What card?”; her response is: “if you are not a member I cannot serve you.” He replies: “How do I become a member?”; she says “by buying a membership card which allows you to be served in this county”. “How much does the card cost?” she says: “Five bucks per person”; he says: “If I give you a ten, will you serve us?” she says: “It’s against the law to serve you if you are not a member of this establishment”. With that said, she departed, leaving us wondering what to do next.
Now, my friend’s patience is wearing thin. He calls the waitress one more time and finally agrees to give her the ten dollars, get the card and get served. Then she says she will not sell him a card because he is not a “regular” and as he has explained to her it’s his first time in this town and expects it to be the last. She was not at all happy with that response, but being customer service oriented, she agrees to ask her “boyfriend” if he would be willing to let us order some drinks on “his card”.
The man sitting down from us is about 7 feet tall, 400 pounds and when he turns around he says: “sure, you can serve them” and away she goes. Now the trick is to give him the money, he in turn will give the money to the waitress, at which time she will give him the change, and then he will give me back my change. Complicated? You haven’t heard anything yet.
She returns with a beer for my friend and a wine for me. The “boyfriend” trying to make conversation, asks my friend: “What business are you in?” Big mistake!
My friend, who is from California, believes to be Clint Eastwood during a big bad movie because his reply is: “My job is to come into cowboy bars such as this and pick fights with big guys like you”, in a very effeminate voice.
My thoughts turned into mush. My friend is only 5’ 4” tall and has no idea what “red-neck” truck drivers are like! They will kill you for less! They hate effeminate guys!! This is TEXAS! I can see how they are all gathering together waiting for us to leave so they can ambush us at the exit door! I just know they will not let us live any longer than tonight!
But our guardian angel was looking after us and after one beer and one wine, we left trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. After we were safe and sound back at the hotel, I screamed at him that this was the last time I would ever work with him!
His response was a “no harm done”.