I have always wanted to enter a nursing home and talk with the lonely people housed there to find out their stories. It’s sad how we look at them as old and done with life while they wait to die. With all these privacy matters going on in our lives we are closing the door to our heritage and their stories will die with them. No longer can you take paper and pencil and interview an interesting person without signing all the proper documentation to avoid a lawsuit later because you have invaded their privacy. We will not learn how life was in another time and place and will continue to make the same mistakes over and over because we have not learned from the past.
Can you imagine asking them for glimpses of their life? I’m sure you will not be surprised to find out they were practicing lawyers, judges, soldiers, architects, designers, wives, mothers, husbands, plumbers, cleaners and drivers and so on. But as we look at them now, we will not find the proper words to ask them how full their lives were in years past, or how they spent their younger years.
Years ago, I was traveling with a rep in Minnesota making stops at several nursing homes in the area; he was well known and knowledgeable and I was comfortable working with him. As we arrived at one of his appointments, there were several octogenarian women in a row in front of the entrance waiting for a van to take them to the health clinic.
One of them, the more adventurous, stopped us to let us know they were being taken to the clinic to have breast exams. She then proceeded to let us know why she couldn’t understand the reason for it, as they were way past their time for that type of care. She was adamant to tell us what she thought of the bureaucrats filling out the paper work so they could get paid for their care. She was hilarious!
I thought she had more to say to us, but the people caring for her rushed her out of our sight before she could tell us more of her grievances.
As we stepped inside the building, there was a woman to which I was told to pay attention; the rep walked fast, the woman walked behind him imitating. He peeked into a room; she did the same. He stopped, she stopped. He looked out the window, she did the same. This went on for several minutes as he was making gestures, and this woman was imitating him exactly. The caretaker noticed how much fun this woman was having, and she immediately took her to her room. No more fun.
So, don’t tell me just because they are institutionalized the older generation is not having fun! I would love to stop and speak with some of them and learn what they know or just have a visit with the past. We could hear some great stories, I guarantee.
Elva Weber – for more stories go to www.elvaweber.com
